Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Puzzle Pieces...

I’m a very confident individual…extremely sure of myself…borderline arrogant. And if you can only imagine, I’ve been accused on many occasions of crossing that fictitious line. Without question, a Type A personality. Wikipedia describes it best:

"Type A personality, also known as the Type A Behavior Pattern, is a set of characteristics that includes being impatient, excessively time-conscious, insecure about one’s status, highly competitive, hostile and aggressive, and incapable of relaxation.[1] Type A individuals are often highly achieving workaholics who multi-task, drive themselves with deadlines, and are unhappy about the smallest of delays. They have been described as stress junkies."
Yep, that’s me…all me.

Many, many times I literally have on blinders and can only see or focus on my immediate tasks at hand. It’s almost like not being able to see the forest for the trees, all the while straining so hard just to get a glimpse of the elusive forest. Now granted I’ve rewritten the definition and expectations of the concept of multi-tasking, yet I get so inundated on the smallest of details. It’s so easy for me to be very happy and very miserable at the exact same time. Liken it to a ‘split-personality’ of sorts.

Imagine it this way…a hundred people come into the same room. Each is given a single piece of a hundred-piece puzzle…including me. Our goal is to assemble the puzzle. I’m the person attempting to look at each of the other 99 pieces…simultaneously mind you, to see if I can find the ones that only match ‘my piece’. I could actually care less if any others match…does it match mine…mine…only mine. As I scramble around the room, frantically searching for my matching pieces, I see other parts of the puzzle beginning to come together. I become furious and frustrated in my attempts to successfully complete my task. After all, it’s my piece that is the most important. Without my specific piece of the puzzle, all the rest is moot.

My insides scream…my mind spins out of control…every fiber of my being is somehow lost in organized chaos…my eyes bounce like pinball’s seeking to hit every bonus available and score as many points as possible.

Would somebody PLEASE unplug the pinball machine?!

Did I mention I’m also adult ADHD?

Welcome to my world.

Such is the case of the viewpoint of so many churches and Christians. “Mine, mine, mine…me, me, me…I, I, I…us, us, us…we, we, we…bringing in the sheaves”. Sorry, I guess I got carried away for a moment. This was too easy for me. It fit my normal thought pattern. Life was good. And I bought into this viewpoint with no reluctance what so ever.

Yep, life was good…up until a few days ago. It was in an unforgetable moment that I came to the mind-altering fact, there was something seriously wrong with my spiritual piece of the puzzle…

…to be continued.

3 comments:

Jeff said...

Oooo. Can't wait to read the rest of this...

K.T. said...

I am with Jeff.....cliff hangers....cant wait!!!

Griffin said...

AHHHHH!!!! Why do you do this to us. The only kind of reading I can ever get into and it's like: oh, oh, almost, NOPE!!!! Wait and see.....



dang your good